"God is On the Bathroom Floor"
Updated: Jul 13, 2021
by Jane Marczewski ("Nightbirde")
I saw a post shared by one of my Facebook friends of Nightbirde singing - and the entire performance was amazing - and brought so much emotion to the forefront, because of the story behind the song.
Love these words penned by singer/songwriter, Nightbirde - who was given a 2% chance of survival by her doctors, after being diagnosed with cancer, not one, but three times.
Read her words about her journey, below:
I don't remember most of autumn,
Because I lost my mind late in the summer
And for a long time after that -
I wasn't in my body.
I was a light bulb buzzing somewhere afar.
After the doctor told me I was dying,
And after the man I married said he didn't love me anymore,
I chased a miracle in California
And sixteen weeks later, I got it.
The cancer was gone.
But when my brain caught up with it all,
I later found that all the tragedy at once
Had caused a physical head trauma,
And my brain was sending false signals
of excruciating pain and panic.
I spent three months propped against the wall.
On nights that I could not sleep,
I laid in the tub like an insect,
Staring at my reflection in the shower knob.
I vomited til I was hollow.
I rolled up under my robe on the tile.
The bathroom floor became my place to hide,
Where I could scream and be ugly;
Where I could sob and spit and eventually doze off,
Happy to be asleep,